I don’t know if it’s got to do with the fact that some of my friends are becoming moms, but lately all I’m talking about is pregnancy and motherhood. Cara and her son Nathan came first. He’s like a nephew to me, I can’t help drooling whenever I look at him and he start giggling. He’s adorable. Then it was Darlene, she let me know she was expecting again, a girl this, Audrey. With her mom’s genes I’m sure she’ll be gorgeous. And then it was Ainhoa, who’s know in her sixth month. She’s looking beautiful these days, different, but gorgeous like all the pregnant women I know.

I’m a curious person and I can’t help asking two thousand questions to my pregnant friends. Is it painful? What do you feel? Can you tell when he/she is awake? When he/she kicks, does it hurt? There are so many questions I want to know the answer of… So many doubts and questions about something that comes after a passionate and control free moments, and right after that a seed starts growing inside you. Must be exciting, worrying, different, unique…

I talked about this same topic earlier this morning with a friend of mine. While feeling the empty spaces of a crossword we started talking about pregnancy and motherhood. We talked about this part of our body that seems to be in contraction and, usually, small, dilates so much. We tried to graphically imagine that, by joining our index fingers and thumbs, and drawing a circle with that… oh my. ‘This big, it gets this big’, we said. And that’s when questions and doubts come… how can that be possible? how painful is it? epidural or natural birth? Donostia’s Hospital or private center? Bufff… and we’re not even pregnant!

But I’d like to get pregnant someday. Not today, tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, not even in the next couple of months or years. But someday, before I hit thirty if possible. It must be something indescribable… something unique, to feel a new life, a new creature growing inside of you.

I enjoy being aunt Maider for now.

Nickelback - Far Away

Tight jeans, a black tank-top, a beer, a cosmopolitan, billiards… and Far Away. I’m making a cd to a good friend of mine and I included this song due to a conversation we had, while walking up a hill.
Wherever you are Deena, thank you for letting me know about this great band.

I remember a lecture given by our biology teacher in school. He said that whatever piece of land or water we take from earth, it will find its way to relocate somehow. That phrase stuck in my mind and ever since that day, I’ve believed that nature is stronger than all of us. There’s nothing we can do against the forces of nature such as hurricanes, earthquakes or tornados… nothing. A ship struck the rocks that protect my hometown a couple of weeks ago. The powerful waves managed to break the ship into three pieces… the anger of the sea because of the pollution this ship is causing to Mother earth has translated into the destruction of the ship. A friend and I went to see what it looked like last Sunday morning. The views were amazing, it made me appreciate the place I live at. But it was devastating to see what this ship is causing to our sorroundings. Don’t mess with Mother nature…

I remember the first time I had a cup of tea. They say we never forget our first times and I hope to never forget about this one. I was in London at the time (where else could have I had my first cup of tea??), it was February of 2004, and I’d gone there to visit the city and attend a concert. As you can imagine, London was freezing cold at that time of the year, I got see some snow, luckily it never rained! Well, I stayed at this hostel located next to Notting Hill, most of the population there was of Arabic and/or Indian descent. Every day, I’d go to this cyber cafe to check my emails and I became friends with the pakistani guy that ran the place.

I was with a friend, who’d stay for over an hour chatting and since it only took me 5 minutes to check my email accounts, I had the rest of the time to chat with this guy. Every day, I’d ask for a cup of hot chocolate.

-It’s cold outside, eh?
-Freezing… I don’t think I’ve ever had this much hot chocolate in my life. To be honest, I’m getting sick of it.

And that’s when he suggested having a cup of tea instead.

-Tea?

Was he nuts?? Tea??????? I mean… My mom drank tea, but me? I was so sure that I was not going to like it that I hesitated.

-Try it, if you like it I’ll charge you, if you don’t… you can still have your cup of chocolate…

Sounded like a nice deal, so I had a tiny little sip. Hmmm, it was ok, not bad… I had another sip… it was good, it was really good… Of course, I paid the guy… and from that day on that’s all I had in London, tea.

Now, tea has become part of my regular diet. Not only because I love it, but because I hear it’s really good for your health. I have my first cup of tea (either earl grey or darjeeling) after showering, while having breakfast. I’ll have the second one before noon. In the afternoon/evening I’ll drink an infusion instead, just in case caffeine (teine) affects my sleeping.

I have a collection of different types of tea in the kitchen closet. And whenever I go to a cafeteria, I’ll try something different. I’ve had white tea, red tea, black tea, ginger green tea, green tea, kashmir tea, tchai tea (ginger, cinnamon and something else… spicy and ticklish!), darjeeling, caramel and vanilla flavored… all kinds of tea. Now, I have to try masala tea. I’ll see if I can find it somewhere.

Be tea, my friend. It’s good!

Strawberry I

There was a time in which I felt I was pretty, unique, attractive… I’d look in the mirror and wouldn’t see that nose, that tiny mouth, those breasts, those thighs, all those imperfections I never liked about myself… instead I’d find the reflection of a beautiful woman.

But one day, some simple but sharp words made me feel tiny, almost inexistent. As much as I tried convincing myself I was fine, I was pretty, the image I saw reflected in the mirror didn’t show any beauty anymore. I felt ordinary, just about anyone. And I needed to feel special again.

I spoke to someone I’ve known for a decade now. A brilliant photographer and explained to him how I was feeling. I asked him to take some studio pictures of me. He told me he’d take some pictures where I didn’t feel my mouth was small, my nose was ugly… I had complete faith that he would achieve his purpose… and he did in indeed. He’s given me an injection of confidence. I am finally healed. I feel proud of what I see in these pictures, simply me, and that is why I am sharing them with you.

They say women are like waves, they climb up to caress the rocks and then, slowly, hit bottom. I hit bottom and he helped me climb up again. Whenever I feel the wave going down again, I will only need to take a look at these pictures to remember I am not just about anyone.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I promise to talk about tea on my next post

This Is Me
Yeah,I have my addictions
And keep my share of secrets
And things you’ll never see
I get selfish and defensive
And pay too much attention
To my insecurities
Oh I,I’m just like everybody else
I try to love Jesus and myself

I don’t know what you believe
Or what you think of what you see
But this is a part of me
What I do and who I am
All of my impurities
Are right here on my sleeve
This is me
This is me

I’ve watched some interesting movies in the last month. Here’s a brief review (listed in the order I’ve seen them):

The Nanny Diaries (Scarlett Johansson). USA
I was a little eskeptical about this movie at first, for some reason I kept thinking it would be trash. No plot, no good acting, no nothing… I was surprised to see it was actually an entertaining film, with an interesting plot. What makes it even more interesting is that it is based on a true story. I always say that the best ideas for novels/movies come from real experiencies…

Death of A President. USA
It is actually a documentary film. It is fiction, but it was very realistic. It talks about the murder of President Bush after giving a speech in Chicago. Very well achieved.

At First Sight (Val Kilmer, Mira Sorvino). USA
A friend recommended that I watched this movie. It was beautiful, I don’t want to unveil much, just in case you decide to see it. But it made me cry a couple of times and made be believe in the power touch has for the human kind.

Bunty aur Babli (Abhishek Bachchan, Rani Mukerji). India
Cute comedy about to country people who dream big and leave their small villages to pursue them. After being realizing it is harder than they thought to achieve those dreams, they’ll adopt new identities and begin stealing from the rich. It is a cute comedy, entertaining and Bachchan and Mukerji make a good pair.

Atonement (Keira Knightley). United Kingdom
I had high expectations about this movie. I thought I was going to love it, it had all the ingredients to be an A++: great cast, great sorroundings, great director… but these things always happen. I thought I’d love it as much as Pride & Predujice and all these movies the UK produces, but I was so disappointed to see a movie that was missing something… it was boring at times, confusing at other times… and yes, right at the end of the film, you get to tie all the knots and say, oh, it makes sense now… but it was too late already.

Black (Rani Mukerji, Amitabh Bachchan). India
An amazing film about a blind & deaf girl who is initially raised like an animal by her parents, but later on becomes a very intelligent woman with the help and support of her teacher. A very inspiring movie, with an outstanding performance by Mukerji and Bachchan. Honestly, one of the best movies I’ve seen in a long-long time. A+++

Some Like It Hot (Jack Lemmon, Marylin Monroe and Tony Curtis). USA
I never thought I’d enjoy watching a classic movie this much. I borrowed the film from my boss and I thought I’d get bored halfway through, I mean… black & white film, old,… but along with Black I think it’s one of the best movies I’ve seen in a long time too. It tells the story of two musicians that witness and murder and have to escape to Florida with a female orchestra to be safe. A+++

That’s it for now.
Next topic: Tea.